Wednesday, September 22, 2010

That's right, it was all a Muslim plot

By Mark Steel
The Independent

"You might think that a plot to blow up the Pope would be news for a while. Popes don't get blown up all that often, and this one's enough of a celebrity that if he fell over drunk at the MTV awards with Kanye West it would be in the papers for a few days, so it's strange that a plot to blow him up was only of interest for one day.

On Saturday, the front-page headline in the Express was "Muslim plot to blow up Pope", and every paper had a similar headline.....

Luckily it's unlikely that being a street cleaner would have been enough to get all that close to the Pope, unless they were hoping to shout: "Hang on, Pontiff, you can't start Communion yet, there's a crisp packet under your cassock, I'll come and brush it away for you – KABOOM!"

So what happened to the plot? The most likely answer is obviously that its sudden disappearance was due to a miracle. But sceptics might suggest another explanation.

The Express told us: "The suspected plot was smashed." Other papers agreed it had been "foiled". But after the anti-terrorist squad raided the cleaning depot and arrested the six men, it turned out the only evidence against them was that someone had overheard them talking about the Pope, and they were released without charge. So the plot was smashed and foiled through the tactic of never having existed in the first place.

Maybe this is how the police can increase the number of crimes they solve, by foiling and smashing more such cases....

So the work is done, and they're free to make up the next one, such as "Muslims force Dalai Lama to harpoon a kitten" or something...."

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